WRONG. Wrong wrong wrong wrong. I should have been suspicious when I saw the location - "On the grounds of Olde Swedes Church." I mean, who has a musical festival at a church, right? Well, I mean, I know there's the First Unitarian Church and all, but those are Unitarians, not real, you know, Swedish church-goers. The Swedish, I imagine, are much more hesitant to lend their church to random music festivals, especially with all that industrial hardcore going on up in Scandinavia.
Swedish hardcore band Snobbslakt - note the people making out up front!
Anyway, back to the Bluebond Local Music Festival. I arrived, Saturday afternoon, 2 p.m., boyfriend (Matt) and girl friend (Sam) in tow. The first thing we noticed was a conspicuous lack of crafts. Note on the flyer: "Arts & Craft vendors." Vendors - plural. These "vendors" turned out to be ONE table of small children, average age: 6, selling paper flowers covered in glitter. Pretty, but not of the highest craftsmanship. Not that it wasn't a brilliant marketing plan.
Then there were the "bands." The first act up was a band called "The Shredders." Here's a photo I took of them performing live:
What you can't tell in this photo however is that the Shredders were actually a CLASH COVER BAND. Yes, that's right. These 7-year-olds performed an angst-y, rocking rendition of "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" Which is exactly what myself, Sam and Matt were thinking.
After the Shredders, the next act was a guy named Dylan. At this point, all 3 of us got really excited because there was a dude named Dylan listed on the poster. Maybe this is a real music festival after all! we thought. Turns out this was a different Dylan entirely. This Dylan was about 15 (twice the age of the Shredders!), clad in a purple tee and tight jeans, and armed with a repertoire of bad Chris Carrabba rip-offs. I probably would have had a crush on him when I was around 13. At 23 however, it was unlistenable.
After Dylan's performance, the three of us had had enough of the trickery, and decided to peace. No word yet on whether any bands that did NOT consist of small children ever showed up - but being that we were the only people on the grounds between the ages of 20 and 35, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say the whole thing was one big scam. One perfectly good Saturday: wasted. Little children, coming out of the wazoos. Who duped us, and why? The world may never know.