When someone says "Giraffe Incognito", this is what I think of:

Turns out it's also the name of a delightfully eccentric Australian indie/electronica act about as fun and bizarre as a giraffe with an eye patch. Read more -- and download the record -- at Phrequency.com.

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I totally stole this from Ashton Kutcher's twitter, BUT--

it is awesome.

Happy New Year!

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Neighborhood Watch: 10 Ways to stay warm in your apartment in 3 degree weather without heat (derived from personal experience)

It's going on 9 days in the Katepartment without heat, and I'm starting to get a little angst-y (and cold.) And just in case you too are suffering these dreary winter days, here are 10 ways I've found to make things a little bit warmer.

1. Space heaters. Also known to start electrical fires!

2. The oven. Open door, use fan to blow heat around everywhere. May cause electrical fires as well!

3. The stove. Boil water. Great for cooking spaghetti.

4. Blankets. See also: slankets, snuggies, the abominable snowman look.

5. Layers. Fashionable AND toasty

6. Hot showers. Every 20-30 min.

7. Projectors. Turn on, sit directly in front.

8. Hot chocolate. Warm AND velvety.

9. Whiskey. When hot chocolate stops working.

10. Sex. Nothing like body heat to keep that blood pumping.

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2009: A personal reflection on what made this generally crappy year actually pretty ok

I don't usually like to get all sappy and reflective here (it's not Xanga for god's sake) and in general, I'm not a particularly sappy person. But once a year, it's nice to take a few minutes out of my retardly busy schedule to reflect -- if only to remind myself of all I've accomplished, and all that's left to conquer. Thus, I present: a brief history of generally pretty ok year.

New Years '09

I"m sure 2009 will go down in the history books as one of the worst years in recent history--unemployment rates were up, spirits were down, and magazines and local businesses alike were failing at an alarming rate. For Philadelphia too, 2009 pretty much blowed -- the Phils lost the World Series to the despicable Yankees, Septa fucked pretty much everyone, and Mayor Nutter proved he wasn't the godsend everyone once thought. But I'm not complaining, even if my bank account maybe is. Here's 5 things that made this year really awesome:


5. I interviewed tons of cool bands, and reviewed dozens more. And I learned how to take sort of ok photos! 2009 was great for my journalistic career.

Exene Cervenka and John Doe of X. Live at WCL, June, 2009.

4. I visited the West Coast for the first time ever...twice! Actually that's a lie. But I did go to Seattle (awesome!) AND Las Vegas, which is still pretty damn impressive for a sheltered girl who's barely left the tri-state area.

Me, Vegas, Vegas, me.

3. I started writing a giant fucking novel, and actually completed it! Remember all those "Webisodes" posts on this blog? I actually started this beast back in 2008, and slowly, one week at a time, added to it, until it was a fully realized piece of pop culture lit. Is it any good? Well, maybe not, but I like it. And Matt even surprised me this Christmas with a fully-bound book edition!

An image from Webisodes. Read the whole thing here.

2. I scored my own column! On Phrequency, called "What I'm listening to." Finally, the whole world can read about my musical exploits. Are you ready world?

A screen shot of my column, on Phrequency. Read the whole thing here.

1. I moved in with my boyfriend, and it totally rocks! I know what you're thinking here: Oh god, could she get any sappier? Actually I could, but for the sake of the greater reading public, I won't. This was huge for me though. I've always been somewhat of a commitment-phobe, and the months leading up to the big move, I was pretty much freaking out, worrying about giving up my freedom or being tied down. But I finally realized: it's OK to love someone, and wanting to spend all your time with them doesn't make you old or uncool and it certainly doesn't mean you're stuck. For the first time in years, going home actually feels like going home and all my worries have pretty much dissipated. Thank you Matt for being so wonderful -- you really made 2009 a year to remember. I love you.

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And now, a very special Christmas wish from Grizz and Dot Com

Merry Christmas everyone!

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Best of 2009 Holiday Vacation Mix -- Stream it for free!

By this time, you're probably sick of "Best of" content. From the long, laborious countdown over at Pitchfork, to this massive and ridiculous "Best of Decade" round-up by "Hipster of the Decade" Carles over a Hipster Runoff (thanks Pak), it's like, enough is enough already! I just want to drink some eggnog and relax, maybe listen to some good tunes as everybody in my family makes fun of each other.

I actually don't even like egg nog. Who wants to drink raw eggs and ambiguous "nog?" Nasty.

Luckily...that's where I come in. (I thrive on these types of situations!) I've composed a Best of 2009 Holiday Vacation mix about as cheery and mindless as your family's sit-down, stand-up version of the "12 Days of Christmas." What's more, it's 100% FREE and streaming online here.

Check it out, and do a little dance. Then, if you want to read more, head on over to Phrequency.com to find out about the inspiration behind the beast.

Happy Holidays!

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Broke and in a bind? 5 ridiculous last minute holiday gift ideas they'll never...EVER forget

Massive blizzard this weekend keep you from getting your shop on? Spent the last of the dough on Chinese food and whiskey to help you through it? Still totally FUCKED as a result, and completely gift-less? Need a quick fix, and FAST to keep those ungrateful greedy relatives at bay? Fear not. Here are 5 last-minute gifts you can make yourself, for hardly any moolah at all.


1. A delicious, homemade treat. Everyone loves baked goods, particularly when they're shaped like the wonderful things in our lives...like Christmas trees, candy canes and baby Jesuses, covered in flowers.

Courtesy of Cake Wrecks

2. Homemade "wearable art", fashioned creatively from things already in your house! Budding jewelry designer? You betcha. Why not design something totally one of a kind for those on your holiday gift list?

Pom-pom earrings, from etsy (and also, regretsy)

3. A touching holiday song and dance. Emphasis on the "touching!" Time to put all those years in the church choir to good use!

4. A special Christmas friend. How can you say no to a face like this?


5. A Holiday Hug. Particularly popular with the grandparents! Because, after all, it's the thought that counts, right?



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Top 5 Overrated Bands of 2009

So, I already posted my 10 favorite albums of the year yesterday on Phrequency (click here for the goods!); now it's time to make a quick foray in the other direction. Here are 5 bands that -- no matter what anyone says! -- I just can't understand what all the the fuss is about.

5.) Wavves. Wavves' self-titled debut is a quirky and interesting record that mashes surf rock with punk and noise-pop for a truly fun listen, particularly when I need a pick-me-up. But a quirky and interesting record does not a legend make, and 2009 was one big shitshow after another for Wavves' 22-year-old front man, Nathan Williams -- who used his newly-founded fame to spin out-of-control again and again, famously breaking down on stage in Barcelona -- then blaming it all on ecstasy, valium and Xanax (like that makes it much better!) If it was all a publicity stunt, then it worked -- the band garnered tons of hype, not to mention a spot on a couple notable "Best of" lists. But -- as local Phreq reporter Trey Shields put it -- "Creating an album in the confines of your bedroom with your trusted 4-track is an admirable thing; however, having to suddenly travel the world to play these tunes night after night may make these existing charms become glaring flaws." Wavves' live show is one giant disaster, which makes me suspicious of any copious praise.

Wavves. (On the brink of destruction?)

4.) The Antlers. I hate using the word "boring" (it just sounds so uncultured), but I've given Hospice, the band's debut, several listens...and every time I forget that it's on. Pitchfork compares Hospice to the Arcade Fire's Funeral -- besides the ringing vocals, I don't really see it. Funeral is soaring, thumping and theatrical; Hospice is mopey, sad, and ultimately, non-engaging. And yes, I understand it's really a deeply-emotive and personal concept album about some kid dying in a hospital...but I don't know this kid and I don't care. This does nothing for me.

The Antlers, looking appropriately pensive.

3.) The xx. I actually like The xx record. It's one of those that grows on you, and (for now at least) I even have one xx track on my "Best of 2009" mix. ("Basic space" -- the best on the record, in my opinion.) And yet: there is no way (sorry Pitchfork) that this could be considered one of the best albums of the year. It's just...not. Clappy? Yes. Minimalist? Very. But extraordinary? I think not. And what's with this band playing Making Time and everyone freaking out? How do you even dance to this shit?

Massive crowds at the xx's Making Time show. (photo Bruce Pinchbeck for Phrequency.com)

2.) The Dirty Projectors. Yikes. Here's a band I can appreciate for their artistic merit. Yes, these guys make very artful, very creative, well-constructed albums full of discordant bleeps and angular phrases, that appeal to the elitist in all of us. The thing is: there are very few times when I actually feel like listening to this. Practically never, in fact. And I wonder: do other people actually ENJOY listening to the Dirty Projectors, or do they just pretend they do, because they think it's cool? Maybe I'm just too much of a mainstreamist. I don't deny it.

The Dirty Projectors are good at making artsy records, and taking artsy photographs
(photo by Sara Cass)

1.) Grizzly Bear. Oh Grizzly Bear. The big question for me (and my boyfriend Matt, with whom I have pondered this many a time) is: how does a band as abstract as Grizzly Bear -- with its dense instrumentation and atmospheric swirls-- manage to win over the entire music blogosphere, in addition to just about every knowledgeable listener I know? What makes these guys so special? Please tell me. (Actually: don't...many have tried, and I still don't understand.) Earlier this year, I actually procured free tickets to a Grizzly Bear show...and then just didn't go because I didn't feel like it. It's not that I think these guys are BAD, or that I don't like their album (I'm actually quite fond of that "2 weeks" song)...to me, it just seems like nothing particularly special. Feel free to prove me wrong. (I'm not quite sure how you'll do this.)

The few, the grizzled, the...gay?

So there you have it. 5 bands I just don't get...and another reason for you to disagree with me. Bring it on, lovers of these bands! I'm ready to go to battle.

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My Top 10 Albums of 2009!

What did I listen to and enjoy most this year? Surf on over to Phrequency.com to find out. (Hint: check out posts on this blog labeled "Best New Music...")



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Best New Music: Freelance Whales

Another band that caught my eye because I really liked their name (see also: Pants Yell!, Elf Power, Dogs Die in Hot Cars), Freelance Whales proved more than just a clever moniker -- they're one of the best new bands of the year! Armed with an arsenal of dreamy melodies, a cavalcade of storied lyrics, and a slew of instruments easily transported from corner to corner (as you can probably guess from above, this 5-piece got their start playing street corners and subway stations in Brooklyn) -- these guys create music so lush and ear-catching you can't help but fall in love. Salivating yet? Read more at Phrequency.com.

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Whenever I watch horror movies, I have vivid and horrible nightmares

Sometimes it's not even a movie that sets me off. Last night Matt watched 2012 while I showered and cleaned up the bedroom, and just the pulsing vibrations and dramatic music echoing through the floorboards (plus casual ruminations on the shoddily-built concept) had me in a tizzy. I woke up this morning at 5:30 a.m. in a warm sweat, convinced I was about to die, when the "enemy" (big anonymous men with weapons) found me and other schoolmates (I'm always younger in my dreams) huddled inside a classroom. The first time I saw Suspiria (Matt's doing) I couldn't sleep for weeks and I wonder if I have some weird psychological disorder that causes my sleeping brain to freak out and see danger everywhere.

Suspiria trailer. Even at 10:30 in the morning, I will not watch this.

On the other hand, perhaps it's just my mental state ("rapt concentration") while watching movies, and my tendency to obsess over things that fascinate me. Either way, I'm a gigantic wimp when it comes to scary movies -- and I'm not sure I'll ever get over it.

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Dear Philadelphia...

I found this little gem on Craig's List (a Missed Connection if there was ever one!), and thought I would share...

Dear Philadelphia,

I am falling out of love with you.

Don't try to change my mind, at this point all you can do is continue to be yourself. The unfortunate thing is: You don't care about anyone anymore. All you do is disappoint me and everyone who tries to get close to you. I remember the first time I saw you, I thought it was true love at first sight. Back then there was nothing you could do to change my mind on that. But now...now all you do is play mind games and fuck people over. Not just people...friends and family. I tried to give you everything and you tricked me into thinking that I would get something in return. What did you give me in return? You give me SEPTA. You gave me a hideous system of highways in which to navigate you. I have had to endure the loss of hundreds of dollars to your stupid, heartless Parking Authority. You force me to deal with thousands of bros, jersey guido dickheads (and I say that because after all that hair product, their heads look literally like penises), and hipsters. Your economy is circling the drain and yet the cost of living is skyrocketing. You corrupted the mind of M. Night Shamylansanfdjs. What did you tell him? "M. Night...as long as you feature me in your films, you will success in them...I AM YOUR STAR." That was a horrible thing to do. And the sports teams...why on earth did you form a religion around them? It is because of you that I am afraid to travel south of Washington Ave on game night. And hey, what if I don't want to wear a fruity looking P on my clothes? Why should I be alienated for THAT?*

You're an asshole. The only thing I have to keep my mind at peace is that you will get what's coming to you. There will come a day when you are a post-apocalyptic wasteland. In that day and age, you will not be a safe haven for anyone. Your skyline will be gone entirely and you will offer no real protection for traveling badasses. You will only be good for mutant hunting and scum-of-the-earth raider hideouts. That's what you deserve.

So, it's pretty obvious that this is pretty much brilliant (especially the part about penis heads, and the fall of M. Night "Shamylansanfdjs"), as well as completely true. Philly is the first and only city I've lived in, and sometimes I wonder if it wasn't the lull of the urban hustle and bustle, the food carts and city parks and department stores and people smoking cigarettes late outside 24-hour Wawas -- dressed in whatever the hell they want, heading back from or to that house party where someone's friend's bands is playing. The details that seemed so cool to an 18-year-old from the suburbs I don't even notice anymore, and for a big city (one of the nation's largest!) it's funny how everyone I meet is friends with someone else I already know.

friends you already know. Chinatown, 2007.

For the past 6 years or so, I've complained about constantly having to move...from West Philly to the gayborhood to my place now in Center City. It's a pain, but it helps keep things fresh. I like discovering new places, and meeting new people and now (in the winter) I feel stuck. It's not the city's fault. It's just me getting older and becoming disillusioned. I used to walk into Johnny Brenda's or National Mechanics and feel so cool, so elated to be in such a place. Now they're just places I go to and the thrill of discovery is gone. The more comfortable we are with a place, the less exciting it seems, and the more things like Septa and the PPA and super sports bros in oversized jerseys seem to piss us off.

National Mechanics. Summer 2008.

Of course, I don't want the skyline to fall, exposing all the "traveling bad-asses" (although I am curious where such bad-asses are hiding out) and "mutant-hunting" just sounds scary. Still, I find it increasingly hard to compose pro-Philly blogs in such a mindset...especially when sometimes, all I want to do is leave.


*Note: the banana photo is my own insertion, to break up the text and really drive home the "fruity" point.

Leftovers: Found shots

On my camera from this fall...

Best New Music: Screaming Females

Perhaps the most aptly named of all thrasher/punk/riot grrl/metal/garage rock/indie punk bands tearing it up these days, the Screaming Females contain exactly one screaming female (ok, so their grammar is a little off. cut them a break; following the rules is so not punk rock!) -- the tiny, shred-master Marisa Paternoster. Want to read more? Check out my 5-step analysis to why this band kills it at Phrequency.com.

photo KB for phrequency.com. do not use without permission.

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Subhuman temperatures got you down? Here's something to cheer you up.

Cheery Londoners Fanfarlo prove nothing is impossible (or, at least: escaping from a straitjacket while hanging upside down is not impossible), with thick, steamy, indulgent pop and lots of orchestral instruments. I'm loving these guys soooo hardcore these days -- they play Johnny Brenda's December 10. Will you be there?

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Internet Watch: Facebooking Old Friends

Before I got to college, I had an excellent track record with keeping old friends. I had no choice, really. I grew up in a small town where the same kids I played My Little Ponies with in kindergarten were sitting next to me sweating SATS in high school. There was some fluidity of course -- people's parents would get transferred, and they'd move away -- or the previously pimple-faced bespectacled girl would get Clearasil and contacts and abandon the drama club for the lacrosse team -- but for the most part, the 10 or 12 girls I ate lunch with in high school were the same 10 or 12 girls at my 6-year-old birthday party.

My 6th birthday. With my BFF Kathy, at TGI Friday's.

And that was fine. It was "the way things were." But all throughout high school, I never REALLY felt like I quite fit in...and thus when I moved to Philly and discovered hundreds -- nay, thousands! -- of brand new faces, I did what any insecure, unhappy teenager hoping to find herself would do: I abandoned them all, and made new friends. And life has been delightful and jolly ever since.

It's weird though, finding these old friends on facebook and looking through their photos. (Isn't the internet creepy that way?) ESPECIALLY when said friends are now married/engaged/with baby (don't think it's happened yet, but I wouldn't be surprised) -- OR -- still hanging out with the exact same people they were friends with in high school.

My birthday party - 6th grade.

And maybe it makes sense. Maybe for some people, the friends they made in high school just happened to be the sort of lifelong companions they'd stick with for the rest of their lives. (I know my boyfriend Matt has been buds with the same core group of 6 or so dudes since practically the womb.) But for whatever reason, seeing these photos just makes me feel anxious in the pit of my stomach. It takes me back to those days -- that I thought were long since behind me and are probably much, much worse in my memory -- and I want to look away, yet can't stop clicking.

8th grade. Some sort of costumed photo shoot.

In some ways, I suppose, there's an odd sense of triumph -- seeing a gaggle of girls and boys I thought were dumb in 2002 sloshing back shots at an Irish pub, clad in those ridiculous, offensive, giant leprechaun hats. I feel like I turned out so much better -- with my elitist, pseudo-hipster taste in music and bars, and cool job as a member of the cultural elite. But looking at those photos -- where everyone is smiling and looking exuberant -- makes me second-guess myself and all I can think about how is how if I ran into these people randomly -- at a restaurant, or on the street -- they'd probably think I was weird and lame. And I'm mature and confident enough now to know it really doesn't matter and yet...in some tiny, infinitesimal way...it does.

I know, I know...I make fun of these leprechaun hats all the time. They are pretty
much the most horrible thing in existence. I could have downloaded an
actual photo of high school friends to use here...but went with Google
images to protect the guilty. The name of this gem is "Drunk leprechaun."

I guess, at the end of the day, the feeling I'm most left with is sadness. People grow and change -- it's true -- and I wouldn't trade the friends I have now for anything. But remembering where you came from is an important part of growing older, and everyone once in a while, it's important to look back. It's a good thing facebook is there to remind me.

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Best New Music: Darwin Deez

That's right -- jump up and down for joy, because the new Darwin Deez album is here, and ready to get your blood pumping! Self-described as "indie rock with a side of calisthenics," these light-hearted pop gems will have you grooving like the indulgent, dance party-loving hipster you always knew you were! Yesssss! I'm rocking out at my desk just thinking about it! Read more (and rock out more!) at Phrequency.com.

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