As a music blogger/person involved with the "scene" (whatever that means), I'm always hyper-aware of what's popular in hipster culture. (And honestly: it doesn't take much more than a few glances around the Barbary.) As a result, I'm also totes aware of what's UNcool. And while it may seem obvious to some, it's really not that simple.
Consider, for example, a few weeks back, when my Dad (a cool dude, but certainly not a hipster) suggested a Bruce Springsteen song for my radio show. I had to ask him: what album is it on? Bruce Springsteen is tricky with hipsters: he started off as definitely un-hip (if only because he was getting old, and high production value was akin to "selling out" in the 90s) -- but in recent years, '70s Bruce Springsteen (and even The River) have become acceptable again. Or, to put it another way -- Springsteen moved from the category of "Hipster Revileus" (generally icky) to "Hipster Redemptious," (sorta ok!) due to the passing of time and popularity of bands like the Hold Steady (who started off cool, but are quickly falling into the "Hipster Contentious" category.)
See, the cycle of Hipster Revile works like any other cycle -- where uncool things can become cool again under the right circumstances, and super cool things can get less cool with time. (Some things, of course, there is no hope for ever.) And thus I present: THE FIVE LEVELS OF HIPSTER REVILE. Study them closely, as there will definitely be a test.
"Name 5 Wilco songs, and tell me what this painting is about. GO!"Hipster Exterminus (the Big Five: the ickiest, most unhip things ever)
SUVs
The Dave Matthews Band
Walmart
The Religious Right (see also: Walmart)
"The Man"
"Just crash...a tourbus into me."Hipster Revileus (Generally unhip; should be avoided at all costs)
The non-religious right
Religion in general (except for Asian religions and funny Jews like Woody Allen)
The South (except for the 3 A's -- Atlanta, GA; Athens, GA; and Austin, TX)
The suburbs (the place, not the Arcade Fire album)
Starbucks
Chain restaurants
Ugg boots
Natty Ice
The Jersey Shore look
"We have a Situation...the sparkles on my shirt are blinding me!!" Most major league sports teams (except for the Philadelphia Phillies, of course, and European sports like soccer)
Yacht rock (ok if liked ironically)
Popped collars (ditto)
Coldplay
Bono
"Kanye West has the same shades (but I had mine first)"Hipster Phatred (Things hipsters pretend to hate but secretly love; things hipsters pretend to love but secretly don't give a shit about)
MTV
Pitchfork
Urban Outfitters
"The poor"
Manhattan
Brooklyn
"This bunny hat is legit. I'm a living art project!"Hipster Contentiousness (Things that used to be cool but are slowly becoming uncool due to too many people finding out about them; "
lamestreamers")
The Decemberists
I swear I thought of other ideas for this category; I just thought
it would be funny to list JUST the Decemberists.Hipster Redemptious (Things that used to be uncool but are slowly becoming cool)
Al Gore
"Born to run" era Springsteen
Having your indie band featured in a commercial
Trust funds (the rest of us are poor and ok with you paying for our pizza)
"Your necklace is so hip!" / "My this meal is SAUCY" Have anything else to add to this list? Leave it in the comments, below!.